Reinventing the Wheel

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Today we are here to present the Reinventing the Wheel Awards for writers who become parents and make the remarkable discovery of a whole new realm of textual possibility, one that nobody has ever written about before, because nobody has ever been thoughtful about parenting, or had such a special child. Nope, nobody, not ever. This year, we are lucky to have not just one but two lucky winners.

- Peggy Orenstein receives the "What's a feminist mom to do when her little girl likes pink stuff?" award, with special mention for being the first feminist mom ever to encounter the quandary that is Libby Lu, or to realize that a girl can love princesses and still want to be a fireman.

- And in the dad category, the "My kid is remarkable and what a miracle it is to be a father, so let me tell you about it, in detail, and sometimes I'll even be self-deprecating" award goes to Steve Almond, who is pleased to follow in the footsteps of last year's winner, Neal Pollack, because his kid is cuter, his sex life is wilder, and he's a better writer.

Thanks for listening, folks, and remember, when you have an original idea, go for it, don't bother checking to see if anyone else has ever had it, because surely, even if their idea is some sort of facsimile of yours, it's nowhere near as original!